Communicating Your Feelings? Show How Everyone Wins

Some people find it hard to talk about their emotions. For others, it's easy. Whatever the case may be with you, there's a reason for discussing how you feel. It could be that you want to celebrate something. Maybe you're trying to let others get to know you better. Perhaps you desire to bring about some positive change.

In that last situation, which frequently happens when someone speaks their mind, there are right and wrong ways to go about it.

You could shout and yell at someone and tell them how they harmed you. That's never going to make good things happen. Pointing your finger at somebody and judging, accusing, or criticizing them might feel really good at the time you're doing it. The problem is that it seldom leads to the change you're looking for and can often worsen a situation.

To Bring about Positive Change, Sweeten the Deal for Your Listener

Let's say something happened in your life, and you don't feel too good about it. It's happened before. As a matter of fact, it looks like it may become a habit if you're not careful.

You might be partially to blame. The actions of another person are definitely causing you to feel negative emotions as well. You both could do things differently so that your feelings don't get hurt.

Look at the situation. What's happening? Who is at fault, if anyone? What is the positive change that you'd like to see take place? Think about your deep-down feelings and not just your surface emotions. Empathize with the person or people that are in this situation with you. Try to see what they were thinking or feeling.

Then before you communicate what's on your mind, make your proposed solution attractive to both parties. Tell your listener (or listeners) how making these changes will be great for everyone involved.

The Truth Is, Some People Don't Care About Your Feelings

It's, unfortunately, true. A lot of people only care about what's in their best interest. This means that when you have to communicate your feelings to people who don't care much about you, it's smart to show how making changes can help them.

This works with your family members and friends as well. They're not always going to be in line with your feelings. However, everyone wants to benefit if they can. The next time you talk about your feelings, speak in such a way that shows your audience that if they make the changes you recommend, they will benefit in some way.

Instead of giving a speech where you point your finger and paint someone as the bad guy, someone who may not care about changing, give that person a reason for doing what you propose. Talk about your feelings. Mention the situation that caused them. Then deliver a proposal that will look attractive to you and your audience.